Mario's Journal
by lemony muffins
Summary: Chronicling the popular plumber's remarkable discoveries and adventures in the astonishing realm of the Mushroom Kingdom.
1. October 30th, 1996

_October 30th,1996_

I have crossed over, arriving in the Mushroom Kingdom by ways of the magical pipe I have discovered. This is a pleasant land indeed, all rolling green hills and smiley clouds. In the distance I can see a castle, which will no doubt make for some fascinating sightseeing – it is odd that the architectural stylings of this otherworldly place should bear such a strong resemblance to those of medieval England.

So far, the only inhabitant I have encountered was a strange mushroom-like creature of furious appearance that came at me with some speed. Unable to move right and left, for reasons I cannot explain now but seemed quite natural at the time, I jumped over it. The creature went on its way, as did I, glad to have avoided a potentially dangerous collision. Perhaps if I encounter another I shall attempt communication.

I intend to chronicle my travels in this journal. In the event of my disappearance or demise, I hope that it may be found by future travellers and used to help them succeed where I have failed.


	2. November 2nd, 1996

_November 2nd, 1996_

My expedition to the far-off castle has become plagued by these infuriating mushroom creatures. They are quite unresponsive to attempts at communication, and when I attempted to touch one I immediately lost a life and was forced to repeat that leg of the journey. Still I jump over them, and they plod incessantly onwards. Sometimes they hit a wall, and apparently suffering from the same dimensional restrictions as myself are forced to reverse their path. In these instances my jumping has become quite frenetic, and I am becoming quickly exhausted. This inconvenience, combined with an annoying amount of apparently bottomless pits, makes me fearful that I may soon have to cut my journey short. I must conserve lives, or find a method of obtaining more.


	3. November 3rd, 1996

_November 3rd, 1996_

Not one, but two fascinating discoveries!

Firstly, an answer to the growing mushroom problem. Jammed into a tight spot by two of the creatures, I was forced to land on one of their heads. Imagine my surprise when, instead of the nasty mess I was expecting, there was a satisfying noise and the creature simply winked out of existence! Moreover, it's vanishing crown proved quite a bouncy surface and propelled me, with a intuitive and gratifying motion, onto the head of its friend, who disappeared in a similarly tidy fashion. Astonishing.

Secondly, and most intriguingly, an apparition which should have been quite impossible, yet which I assure you, dear reader, I observed with my own two eyes. A cube, its face painted with a question mark, that _hovered above the ground._ Perhaps hovered is not the right word, as there was not even the slightest movement to the mysterious object. It was if some strange sorcery had pinned it to the air itself, or set it on an invisible shelf. Naturally curious, I jumped up to investigate, but sadly found it just beyond my reach. I continued on my way, and found another of the objects. If they are meant to be reached, there must be some way of reaching them, but for now it eludes me.


	4. November 5th, 1996

_November 5th, 1996_

A breakthrough, and another puzzle.

Today I discovered that in addition to the natural bounce provided by the mushroom creatures, I am able, with effort, to use them to jump to dizzying new heights! I made my way back to the last unreachable block, and after luring a mushroom creature beneath, used its destruction to propel myself towards the block, landing neatly on top. To my disappointment nothing happened, and after tapping and prodding it no end I jumped back down to reconsider my options.

Presently another mushroom creature appeared, and I decided to make a second attempt. This time, though, I miscalculated my trajectory and collided head first with the underside of the unmovable cube – _and it moved!_ The movement was accompanied by a strange noise and an acute pain in my head, and I fell back to earth to stare up at the block. Suddenly a large and rather venemous-looking red and white mushroom (despite its movement, it lacked a face and seemed to have more in common with an actual mushroom than the creatures I slaughtered to reach it) that appeared to have come from _within the block itself_ fell to earth, and began sliding rapidly away from me. I pursued it cautiously, unsure what to do, and it soon fell down a hole.

Writing this now I realise how insane it all sounds, but the experience has left me deeply unsettled. Was the elusive mushroom an omen? Have I done something wrong? This is a strange and foreign land indeed, and I must proceed with due caution.


	5. November 7th, 1996

_Nov 7th, 1996_

Fascinating. Another hovering question block, another mysterious mushroom, but this time – no hole! The fungus hit a wall and rebounded in my direction. At first I intended to jump over it, but then, gritting my teeth and throwing caution to the wind, I simply braced myself for impact. To my surprise, the mushroom simply winked out of existence on contact. And then – I grew huge! I reached twice my previous size, without any apparent ill effect whatsoever. This enlarged state persisted until I accidentally bumped into a mushroom creature, at which point I returned to my normal size – _but didn't lose a life!_ Thinking about it now, it seems probable that the mushroom holds hallucinogenicproperties which may require further investigation.

A turtle-like creature wandered into my camp last night. It looked fairly harmless, but taking no chances I jumped on its head, causing it to retreat inside its shell. After a while it emerged and scuttled away, causing me no harm. Could this docile creature be the prey of the vicious mushroom beasts?


End file.
